Bringing Peace to the Inner War

cognitive dissonance: noun

psychological conflict resulting from incongruous beliefs and attitudes held simultaneously

Cognitive dissonance happens when we have two different versions of ourselves telling us that we should be doing two different (opposing) things. Like the voice that tells us that we should take it easy, and the other voice that is ready to berate us for not having done all the things we planned. Or, when it comes to alcohol, the one voice screaming at us that we need a drink to soothe, or to experience happiness, or to be in connection. And the other that knows that the alcohol is harming us and is begging for us to stop.

What we really aught to do is to get curious to see what each one of these versions of ourselves is trying to teach us. Since they are both us, they are both trying to look after us and help us in their own way. The best thing we can do then is to recognize that they are there, hold them outside of ourselves, and have a conversation with them. 

The voice that wants you to drink is the part of yourself that is simply reaching for what it understands to be the best tool to solve the problem. We can see that. We can hear that. We can have compassion for that part of ourselves. AND we can still ultimately choose, with our conscious mind, to make a different choice.

When we recognize that we are of two minds about something, be it alcohol or really anything else, we can ask, “what are you trying to accomplish? What are the driving beliefs and emotions behind that goal?”

And then we can respond with our conscious mind in the way that aligns with our highest self.

For example, I might consciously need to get a move on or reach a deadline on a project, so I can talk to that side of myself that wants rest and say that I hear you. And thank you. I promise that I have the energy to do this thing and that I will recharge when it is time. But right now, I’m going to choose to listen to the side of myself who is pushing forstriving.

Going all in one way or the other resolves the conflict inside, but still only acknowledges one facet of our selves when we should be acknowledging and learning from all facets of self.

 I hope you're having a beautiful week!