Although, I acted like what most people think of when they think “alcoholic” for almost two decades. I grew up in a household where neither of my parents really drank to excess and didn’t really get started until my freshmen year of college. I’ve never been someone to go halfway on things, and drinking was no exception. If a little bit of booze was good, I was certain that alot more was better. Working in the restaurant industry and hanging out with all of my friends in the humanities didn’t give me any reasons to slow down or question what I was doing. Many of my idols were heavy drinkers too! From Ernest Hemmingway and F Scott Fitgerald and Jack Kerouac, to the slick guys on Mad Men, it seemed like something all the cool guys were doing.

I didn’t really question my drinking for years and years, but then the doubts and fears started cropping up. I started asking myself if I was really enjoying it. I started wondering if other drinkers were staying up until 3am several nights a month until they finally passed out. I felt fear at the occasional abdominal pain I’d feel, convinced that the last drink had finally tipped me over into cirrhosis. I felt like a terrible husband when my wife would come and try to get me to go to bed, but I wouldn’t wake up. I would get so sick of my behavior and feel so frustrated and down on myself that I would resolve to change. “I'll just cut back!” I thought. And that would work for a little while. I’d go a couple weeks and then, confident that it wasn’t a problem anymore, allow myself a drink here and there. It wasn’t long though before I was right back where it started, drinking more than I was happy with and feeling terrible about my inability to exert control.

Everything changed when I discovered This Naked Mind and the work of Annie Grace. The radical idea of the Liminal Process and changing my drinking with grace and curiosity sounded too good to be true. Like magic. But it worked. I experienced spontaneous sobriety with her work and now I’m joyfully alcohol free and passionate about helping others find the freedom that I have.