Seeds and Switches

state

stāt noun

1. the particular condition that someone or something is in at a specific time.

The thing that most people won't tell you about drinking more than you'd like to is that... drinking works. Even while it was driving me crazy, attacking my health, sapping my motivation, clouding my mind, spooling up my anxiety, even still... it always kind of worked. At least it felt like it worked. If I was feeling stressed, I knew a drink would be just the thing to help me relax. If I was bored, an IPA would make things a little more interesting. If I was lonely, at least I could have a drink and find my company tolerable.

When you boil down why people drink, it's because they want to change how they feel. We're looking to change our state, most of the time from discomfort to comfort. Makes sense right? If you have learned that there's something quick and easy to do that solves the immediate problem of feeling a way you don't want to feel, awesome! But what happens when your solution for everything becomes a problem of its own?

Enter Seeds and Switches. Seeds and Switches is a simple way of thinking about the things that we might do to change our state at any given time.

Seeds are practices and routines that provide sustainable, long-term sources of goodness in our lives. For instance, becoming a reader, taking care of your fitness, developing a meditation practice... these are things that might not provide huge upsides in the very near term, and might even feel a little uncomfortable at first, but pay massive dividends in the future.

Switches, on the other hand, are things that we might reach for when we want an immediate way to change how we feel. Like flipping a switch, these tend to be easy and lightning fast. Alcohol is a switch. So too is scrolling on social media, eating junk food, viewing pornography, gambling... you get the idea.

You know the feeling. That "it's been a crazy long week I really need to unwind" feeling. In the past, I'd have known exactly what to do. Time to crack open a cold one (or seven) and settle into the couch. One problem though, I had resolved to stop drinking. And I really meant it this time. I couldn't go back on my word to myself. And I couldn't keep feeling wound up from the hectic week. But now, resolved to not drink anymore, I found myself at a loss for what to do. With alcohol as my Swiss Army Knife solution to whatever was bothering me, I'd never had to develop any other tools to change how I felt.

It's something I see the folks I work with run into often. They'll be excited to start their alcohol-free life and ready to tackle the challenge, but then life happens and too often they find themselves reaching for the very thing that they swore they were done with. As humans, our three primary psychological drives are to avoid pain, seek pleasure, and conserve energy. Returning to the bottle, then, makes all the sense in the world. And knowing this allows us to treat ourselves with compassion when we feel that pull.

There are better ways though.

For me, alcohol worked so well for so long, that I hadn't concerned myself in the least with planting seeds. I'd become rather complacent, a bit too grasshopper and not enough ant, so I found myself ill-prepared when I was left without my favorite switch. I know now that we need both seeds and switches to be successful. We need a triage option, and we need something that can sustain and support us in the long term.

But trading alcohol for a sports betting addiction can't be right either, right?

There are dozens of ways to quickly switch your state that are more supportive than alcohol. A few are...

• Cold plunge

• Hot shower

• Walk the block

• 10 squats/10 pushups

• Mix a mocktail

• Sing a song

• Dance like no one is watching

• Text a friend

• Box breathing

• and too many more!

I didn't know about these when I quit drinking and it made the transition so much more difficult than it needed to be. We are responsible for ourselves. When you notice that you are feeling a way that is not bringing you closer to your goals, own it. Change it. Throw the Switch!

The best thing about having some more supportive switches on hand is that it gives you time to get your hands dirty cultivating those seeds. Seeds are small, but they contain incredible potential. So with your seeds, start small. If you aren't much of a reader, don't start with Brothers Karamazov. Start with 10 pages of something before going to bed. So many of us feel like what we're doing doesn't count somehow if it isn't "all out" on the first try. But be honest with yourself. Has that always worked out in your favor? Have you ever resolved to go to the gym, start meditating, change your diet, and launch your business in the same week- only to find yourself burnt out and eating ice cream on the couch to recover by Tuesday? Me too.

So let the seeds be small. Celebrate the tending. And you'll be amazed at what grows in your life.